thestomachknot.com

Some days, I hate The Knot. Other days, it is my treasured resource.

I am referring of course to the Web site www.theknot.com (check it out and prepare to get dizzy). In this magical, advertisement-laden, bridal-to-be haven lie the instructions for creating the most perfect day ... of your entire life. If you budget properly.

But no pressure.

In April, I did what every freshly engaged girl does nowadays and logged on, and entered a tentative wedding date (we're thinking August 2006, so I just put in my birthday, August 31, 2006).

Then, with the exception of daily e-mails I now get offering me discount honeymoon destinations and free bridal tiara contests, I forgot about The Knot. There really wasn't much to do in the way of planning at that point.

Until now.

This weekend Ed's parents and mine (and us of course) are all going out to dinner to talk wedding.It's time to start looking at prospective venues and getting an idea of what we want. I logged back onto The Knot to see what was new in wedding Utopia.

"Hello, Regina and Ed," computer tells me. ""Days to go: 405."

Huh?

Then I was greeted by a checklist. "This month's to dos" - the computer says to me.

I did know I HAD to do anything. But The Knot does knot lie.

"Here it is," computer says. "Your ultimate, week-by-week wedding to do list. Done with a task? Check it off! Doesn't that feel good?"

Um, no. Not particularly. Actually, I just popped two Tums. Did you know they come in tropical fruit flavors now?

Isn't this all a little nuts for one day? Part of me likes the idea of the pageantry, and part of me just doesn't think it's all worth it. But when I'm feeling down about the massive planning, The Knot is there, to hold my hand with an elbow-length white satin glove, on sale for $11.99.

I'm feeling better already.

Of course, The Knot doesn't stop there. Once the wedding is complete and the honeymoon is over, a newly minted bride can turn to sister Web site, The Nest. ( see www.thenest.com ) There, said bride gets advice on how to solve newlywed spats, organize your new house, whip up a great tasting dessert and be an all-around good wifey.

Nope, not joking. It's 2005 - and the Internet is there to remind you that the 1950's aren't that far away.