The bride zone

“Search, and grab. Fast.”

That was the advice I gave to my married co-worker, Lynda, upon entering what was my first bridal expo in Atlantic City. Perhaps she had forgotten, but these things are a feeding frenzy for the betrothed.

Fortunately, I was warned. But I still fell into a few traps anyway.

See, here’s the thing about a bridal expo that no one wants to talk about -- 90 percent of us are there for the free stuff. Sure, you might spy a pretty wedding dress during the fashion show, or get a good photographer’s name from one of the booths, but chances are, you want the free food, the free pens and the free goodie bag.

And I’m a sucker for all that is free.

Complementary copy of Wedding Bells magazine? Certainly. Keychain shaped like a globe from that DJ company? Sure. Tortellini? Don’t mind if I do. I just had to elbow out a couple other girls, trying to get the same. It was kind of sick, actually.

Lynda stood behind me, ever so sheepish. I finally talked her into taking a piece of free wedding cake. Sheesh.

Then, there are the booths that recognize exactly why you’re there, and try to reel you in with lures of free prizes. For the chance to win these prizes, you must give them information -- a name, address, phone number and e-mail address. For some of these booths, I put down a real address but a fake phone number - on the advice of other recently married friends, who warned me these vendors will hunt you down in the night. For other booths, I simply left “phone number” blank.

No one manning the booths asked about the missing phone number - they seemed to know better.

Among the many little post cards I filled out that night was one for a company I will not mention here but am still annoyed by, which promised to help me find wedding vendors. I filled out the card, hoping to win a free honeymoon, and gave them my e-mail address. Thank God I left off a phone number.

Two days later is when this company apparently sent my e-mail address to the Wedding World.

The e-flood gates opened.

“HELLO REGINA, and allow me to congratulate you on your engagement!!” one photographer shouted at me through a large-print e-mail.“Hi Regina, I was referred to you by (insert annoying company here). I’m a calligrapher and can offer you a fantastic deal!”

I got over 20 of these. In 20 minutes.

I did the diplomatic thing. I found a contact e-mail for said annoying company, and asked them to please remove me from their mailing list. I explained I was being flooded with e-mails from vendors, and that I simply didn’t appreciate my inbox overflowing.

To send the message home, I went on to forward every e-mail I received back to the company. Don’t like getting YOUR inbox clogged, do you??

The e-mails continued to arrive. “Congratulations Regina!!!” “What wonderful news, Regina! Click here!!”

I forwarded all of them.

Two days later I got an e-mail from the company, asking me to stop forwarding them e-mails. They promised to remove me from their list.

Guess they got the message.

And I guess I’ll be extra careful at my next bridal expo. Oh, and I got a new e-mail address:

letmemarryinpeace@hotmail.com

That’s a joke by the way. Please don’t e-mail me there.